It's Memorial Day weekend.
I have noticed that, for many years, I have gotten a bit weird mood-wise around this time of year. And I strongly suspect that it has to do with the whole 'would have been an anniversary' mindset that creeps up on me once in awhile. For any keeping track: 30 years as of 05/22. Would have been. Sigh. Plus this is also the time of year that the ex and I always (well, for at least a couple of years...) visited WDW. And I kind of miss WDW the last little while.....
That out of the way, there are other things that have me a bit rattled today. Mostly it has to do with the fact that I still can't seem to let go of some bitterness about the Palmer gig. And I blame myself, at least in part, for the situation. If I had been more.....selfish might be the word......then I would have just gone ahead and submitted resumes for gigs, even though I had a verbal agreement with the Palmer folks. But my conscience said "Hey....you already have agreed to do a job elsewhere...It would not be 'right' to still apply to other places, even if you don't have a paper contract or LOA in hand yet.....". So I didn't. Heavy sigh. And now I am scrambling for a Summer gig. Still hoping that the one place who has replied recently will continue considering me. Of course, with their build(s) starting on June 26th for a July 10th opening, they probably are not in a huge hurry and I probably will not hear anything back from them before the middle to end of this week (especially with the holiday weekend).
Another part of the 'rattled-ness" is concern about getting all my classes out of the way so that I can graduate in the Spring of 2013. I'm pretty nervous about the situation, since I really want to start grad school in the Fall of 2013. Of course it MIGHT be feasible, depending on the school, for me to start in January 2014.....BUT that might (probably would) impact TA possibilities and the resulting tuition issues.....So there is that concern. And there are some schools that only allow admission in the Fall. And some, like UI:U-C, only admit every other year. And 2013 is not a year they will be admitting for. But then UI:U-C, while on my list, is not the primary school I want. As of this moment, that school is still University of Kansas at Lawrence.
And speaking of KU (as the abbreviation apparently goes)....It's time to discuss some synchronicity. Going in, I fully understand the concept of 'post hoc ergo propter hoc.' However, the following occurrences recently are just too noteworthy to ignore. At least, they are noteworthy to me.....So here goes:
Starting awhile ago (maybe a few weeks(?)) I noticed that I was getting a tremendous amount of pop up ads showing up. And it was on all sorts of pages (YouTube videos, Imgur image pages, etc...). And the pop up ads in question were dealing with KU. Now admittedly, the web browser I use is a PortableApp version of Firefox and I carry it everywhere. And so the fact that I might have, at some point, done a web-search for something related to KU while using it is not just high but it is an absolute certainty. And I admittedly do not recall the last time I purged my search history from this particular browser. The fact that the ads show up on any computer I am using (the ones at the 23 Hour Lab, the ones at the Bunnel Computer Lab, or my own laptop) just seems like a little reminder of my goal. Even if it's just due to a prior search it's interesting since it serves as a 'goad' to keep me at least partly on track. And then there was a bit of strange dream realted-ness that happened today. I had a sort of sci-fi dream about a set of martial arts students and their encounter with an intelligent, human sized wasp type creature. I mentioned this dream on Facebook and someone piped up with a reference to the anime FLCL and the character of Haruko Haruhara. In the anime the character rides a Vespa and is referred to as 'The Wasp Woman'. Now here is the thing: in the English language dub the character is voiced by an actress named Kari Wahlgren, who has done a whole bunch of voice over work. Keep her in mind. Move forward to this afternoon, when I have gotten a bit of a 'wild hair' and am doing some further online research about KU. I end up, rather circuitously, looking at a page detailing various scholarships for the theatre department. And surprisingly one of those scholarships is named The Kari Wahlgren Theatre Scholarship. For which both undergrads and graduate students are eligible. And yes, it apparently is the same Kari Wahlgren. She is listed on her Wikipedia page as being a KU alumni........Something that, even though I have looked at her page previously (while looking up some anime related stuff) I don't recall having noticed. And I don't recall having noticed the mention of the scholarship on the KU website previously either. Of course, most of my focus there has, at least till recently, been specifically on the MFA - Scenography page(s). So I could have missed it or forgotten it. Like I said, 'post hoc ergo propter hoc'.....I know.
Oh....One last synchronicity thing: I came across a video about the MFA program on the KU Scenography page. And I didn't recall watching it previously. So I did. And one of the MFA students that was interviewed was an non-traditional, older, been in the world sort of guy. Kind of like me. I have to say that it struck a bit of a chord. Here is the vid in question.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nKpk28HZsU
So....Yeah.
The panic mentioned in the subject line? Oh. THAT. Well, in the main I have addressed a big part of that above when I talked about classes and getting my graduation accomplished by the deadline I wanted. And another part of the panic is just my worry about my portfolio and having enough stuff in it to get admitted. I know that I'll have four realized scenic designs (Honest Abe! - The Cavern Of Crete - The Messenger - The Veldt) and several lighting designs (various from my UI:U-C era (Bleacher Bums - Getting Right Behind Something Like That) as well as some later ones (Winnie The Pooh - Picasso At The Lapin Agile - Winter Shorts 2011 - Leading Ladies) and potentially The Diary Of Anne Frank, all though IF I get to design that one it does not open until after I have to have submitted things to KU for a Fall 2013 admission so......shrug). And I'll have some class related costume renderings and other paper/conceptual projects included as well...But I still worry about both quantity and quality. I really want this. Just as I really wanted to come back to school for my Bachelors degree. That's part of why I want so badly to get one of the scenic design gigs I've applied for.....Especially the one in NH. Where I would be the resident designer for a full season of 4 musicals. It would be a potentially awesome portfolio opportunity.......And, again, heavy sigh.
Wow.
That was a bit of a ramble again wasn't it?
Time to put your tray tables back into their upright and locked positions. This wild ride is done. More later.
No comments:
Post a Comment